Eshet Chayil: The Friday Night Poem Honoring Women

What would it mean to have someone look you in the eye every single week and publicly declare that you are extraordinary? That your work matters, your character is admirable, and your presence makes everything better? For Jewish women, that is exactly what Eshet Chayil offers — a weekly poem of praise, sung by a husband to his wife at the Friday night table, that has been honoring women for thousands of years.

What Is Eshet Chayil?

Eshet Chayil (literally "Woman of Valor" or "Woman of Strength") is a 22-verse poem from the final chapter of the Book of Proverbs (Mishlei 31:10-31). It is traditionally attributed to King Solomon, though some Talmudic sources suggest it was composed by Abraham in honor of Sarah.

The poem is an alphabetical acrostic — each of its 22 verses begins with a successive letter of the Hebrew alphabet, from aleph to tav. This literary structure suggests completeness: the Eshet Chayil represents the fullness of womanly virtue, from A to Z.

Every Friday evening, after Shalom Aleichem is sung to welcome the Shabbat angels, the husband traditionally recites or sings Eshet Chayil to his wife. It is one of the most tender and beautiful moments of the Friday night Shabbat meal.

The Full Text of Eshet Chayil

Here is the complete poem with Hebrew, transliteration, and English translation:

אֵשֶׁת חַיִל מִי יִמְצָא וְרָחֹק מִפְּנִינִים מִכְרָהּ
בָּטַח בָּהּ לֵב בַּעְלָהּ וְשָׁלָל לֹא יֶחְסָר
גְּמָלַתְהוּ טוֹב וְלֹא רָע כֹּל יְמֵי חַיֶּיהָ
דָּרְשָׁה צֶמֶר וּפִשְׁתִּים וַתַּעַשׂ בְּחֵפֶץ כַּפֶּיהָ
הָיְתָה כָּאֳנִיּוֹת סוֹחֵר מִמֶּרְחָק תָּבִיא לַחְמָהּ
וַתָּקָם בְּעוֹד לַיְלָה וַתִּתֵּן טֶרֶף לְבֵיתָהּ וְחֹק לְנַעֲרֹתֶיהָ
זָמְמָה שָׂדֶה וַתִּקָּחֵהוּ מִפְּרִי כַפֶּיהָ נָטְעָה כָּרֶם
חָגְרָה בְעוֹז מָתְנֶיהָ וַתְּאַמֵּץ זְרוֹעֹתֶיהָ
טָעֲמָה כִּי טוֹב סַחְרָהּ לֹא יִכְבֶּה בַלַּיְלָה נֵרָהּ
יָדֶיהָ שִׁלְּחָה בַכִּישׁוֹר וְכַפֶּיהָ תָּמְכוּ פָלֶךְ
כַּפָּהּ פָּרְשָׂה לֶעָנִי וְיָדֶיהָ שִׁלְּחָה לָאֶבְיוֹן
לֹא תִירָא לְבֵיתָהּ מִשָּׁלֶג כִּי כָל בֵּיתָהּ לָבֻשׁ שָׁנִים
מַרְבַדִּים עָשְׂתָה לָּהּ שֵׁשׁ וְאַרְגָּמָן לְבוּשָׁהּ
נוֹדָע בַּשְּׁעָרִים בַּעְלָהּ בְּשִׁבְתּוֹ עִם זִקְנֵי אָרֶץ
סָדִין עָשְׂתָה וַתִּמְכֹּר וַחֲגוֹר נָתְנָה לַכְּנַעֲנִי
עֹז וְהָדָר לְבוּשָׁהּ וַתִּשְׂחַק לְיוֹם אַחֲרוֹן
פִּיהָ פָּתְחָה בְחָכְמָה וְתוֹרַת חֶסֶד עַל לְשׁוֹנָהּ
צוֹפִיָּה הֲלִיכוֹת בֵּיתָהּ וְלֶחֶם עַצְלוּת לֹא תֹאכֵל
קָמוּ בָנֶיהָ וַיְאַשְּׁרוּהָ בַּעְלָהּ וַיְהַלְלָהּ
רַבּוֹת בָּנוֹת עָשׂוּ חָיִל וְאַתְּ עָלִית עַל כֻּלָּנָה
שֶׁקֶר הַחֵן וְהֶבֶל הַיֹּפִי אִשָּׁה יִרְאַת ה׳ הִיא תִתְהַלָּל
תְּנוּ לָהּ מִפְּרִי יָדֶיהָ וִיהַלְלוּהָ בַשְּׁעָרִים מַעֲשֶׂיהָ

Translation

"A woman of valor, who can find? Her worth is far beyond rubies.
Her husband's heart trusts in her, and he shall lack no gain.
She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.
She seeks out wool and flax, and works willingly with her hands.
She is like the merchant ships; she brings her food from afar.
She rises while it is still night, and gives food to her household and a portion to her maidens.
She considers a field and buys it; from the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
She girds herself with strength and makes her arms strong.
She senses that her trade is good; her lamp does not go out at night.
She puts her hands to the distaff, and her palms hold the spindle.
She opens her hand to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is dressed in scarlet.
She makes her own tapestries; her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known at the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes garments and sells them, and supplies belts to the merchants.
Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the days to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She watches over the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
'Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.'
Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears God — she shall be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her at the gates."

What Does the Poem Actually Celebrate?

At first glance, Eshet Chayil might seem like a description of a domestic superwoman — someone who does everything perfectly. But a closer reading reveals something much deeper. The poem celebrates a wide range of qualities:

Trustworthiness — "Her husband's heart trusts in her." The foundation of a strong marriage is trust, and the Eshet Chayil is someone who can be relied upon completely.
Industriousness — She works with her hands, manages her household, and even engages in business. She is not passive; she is a builder and creator.
Generosity — "She opens her hand to the poor." True strength includes compassion for those in need.
Wisdom — "She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue." Her wisdom is not cold or academic; it is infused with chesed (lovingkindness).
Faith — "A woman who fears God — she shall be praised." The climax of the poem is not about accomplishments or beauty, but about a deep relationship with God.
Inner strength — "Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the days to come." She faces the future with confidence, not anxiety.

Deeper Interpretations

While the most common practice is to understand Eshet Chayil as a tribute to a wife and mother, Jewish commentators have offered several additional layers of meaning:

A praise of the Shabbat itself — Some see the "woman of valor" as a metaphor for Shabbat, the Shabbat Queen, whom we welcome each Friday night.
A praise of the Torah — The Torah is often described in feminine terms, and some interpret the poem as celebrating the wisdom and beauty of Torah study.
A praise of the soul — Kabbalistic tradition sees the Eshet Chayil as a reference to the neshamah (soul), which is described as feminine. The poem praises the soul for its tireless spiritual work.
A tribute to the Shechinah — The Shechinah (the Divine Presence) is understood in Jewish mysticism as the feminine aspect of God. Singing Eshet Chayil can be seen as honoring the Shechinah's presence in our homes on Shabbat.

All of these interpretations coexist beautifully. When a husband sings Eshet Chayil to his wife, he is simultaneously honoring her, honoring Shabbat, honoring the Torah, and inviting the Divine Presence into his home.

How Eshet Chayil Fits Into Friday Night

Eshet Chayil is recited after Shalom Aleichem and before the blessing of the children. The sequence is intentional:

We welcome the angels (Shalom Aleichem)
We honor the woman of the home (Eshet Chayil)
We bless the children
We sanctify the day with Kiddush

The placement of Eshet Chayil right after welcoming the angels suggests that the woman's role in creating a holy home is itself angelic. She is the one who lit the Shabbat candles, who prepared the food, who set the table, who created the atmosphere of peace that the angels found when they arrived.

A Modern Perspective

In today's world, the roles within a Jewish family often look different from ancient times. Both partners may work outside the home. Household responsibilities may be shared equally. The husband may do much of the cooking. Does Eshet Chayil still resonate?

Absolutely. The poem is not really about who does the laundry or who earns a living. It is about character: trustworthiness, generosity, wisdom, strength, faith, and love. These qualities are timeless, and celebrating them in the person you love is always relevant.

Many couples today use Eshet Chayil as an opportunity for mutual appreciation. Some wives respond by sharing a word of gratitude for their husbands. Others use the moment to simply express love and thankfulness for each other. The key is that every week, no matter how busy or stressful things have been, the couple pauses to honor each other before the Shabbat meal begins.

Practical Tips

Learn a melody — There are many beautiful tunes for Eshet Chayil, ranging from slow and tender to upbeat and joyful. Find one that feels right for your family.
It does not have to be sung — If singing feels uncomfortable, reciting the words quietly to your spouse is equally meaningful.
Include the whole family — Some families have the children join in singing, making it a collective expression of gratitude for the mother.
Understand the words — Having a translation nearby can help you connect more deeply with what you are saying.

Eshet Chayil is more than a poem — it is a weekly declaration that the people in our lives matter more than anything else. In a world that often measures worth by productivity, wealth, or appearance, this ancient poem reminds us that what truly endures is character, kindness, and faith. "Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears God — she shall be praised."